03 December 2009

This Woman's Work: The Quest for Smurf-Berry Crunch

I think I'm starting to feel like a Baby Boomer.  On Thanksgiving Day, N and I were chatting about cereal and our favorites as kids.  Though she's one of five kids, somehow she got her own box of cereal.  I had 2 sisters, a brother, and an occasional cousin to contend with for television remote control dominance, but wasn't so lucky.  My folks were ballin' on a budget, so we got economy-sized boxes of Frosted Flakes and Crispix--it'll be a cold day before I eat one of those cereals again.  (Since the statute of limitations has already passed, remind me to tell you about the times David, Janelle, and I would sit in the car for what seemed like hours while my parents shopped in Sam's Club.  It would explain a lot about my ability to entertain myself for long periods of time with little to no aides.  But that's another blog.)

Still, there were these brief moments during my childhood when there was a legitimately awesome kid's cereal in the house.  I vaguely remember convincing my mother that I'd eat the cereal I desired if she bought it for me.  Most times, it didn't work out well for me.  (Smacks, Honeycombs, and Cookie Crisp are all gross, fyi.)  But there was one time that trumps all those breakfast cereal mistakes.

As a kid, I was obsessed with the Smurfs.  To this day, my father calls me by his Smurfs-inspired nickname for me.  I had a Smurfs bookshelf.  I had a Smurfs towel and washcloth.  I had a smurfday party, where I had the greatest tasting cake of all time.  And, I was cracked out on Smurf-Berry Crunch.  N concurs that Smurf-Berry Crunch is the greatest cereal of all time.  And she should know, since every few weeks she got to pick her own damn personal box of cereal.

We ended up watching Smurfs episodes on youtube and searching the internet for comparable cereals, but to no avail.  As a result, I've decided that part of my life's work is to get Post to start making Smurf-Berry Crunch again.  The time is right.  The 80's are back, and hipsters who look like extras from Culture Club videos are lurking like roaches.  Why not a little retro cereal to go with those neon green Ray-bans? 

As part of this effort, I'd like to start an emailing campaign.  We should all, and by all I mean the 4 people reading this, contact Post and ask them to start making Smurf-Berry Crunch again, even if only briefly so I can relive my childhood.  I don't even care if they call it something else.  Call them Diego and Dora Berries, I don't care.  I just want my Smurf-Berries. 

As part of this effort, I've written the following message to Post.  Feel free to contact them and tell them how you feel.  You can copy and paste what I've written here, or send your own love letter.

Tell your mama.

Tell your friends.

Tell anyone whose heart can comprehend.

Call it activism. 

Dear Post Cereal:

As a long time fan and supporter of your products, including Fruity Pebbles, Shredded Wheat, and Grape Nuts (so great in vanilla yogurt!), I urge you to begin producing Smurf-Berry Crunch again.  The children who enjoyed Smurf-Berry Crunch are now adult consumers with incredible buying power and a proclivity to purchase items that remind them of their childhood.  Since the 80's are back in both fashion and music, shouldn't Post help our taste buds go as retro as our threads by making some Smurf-Berry Crunch?

I understand that the name Smurf-Berry Crunch is a bit stale and anachronistic given the fact that The Smurfs has not aired new episodes in almost twenty years.  However, I imagine that a name change might solve that problem.  Or perhaps Post is interested in creating a vintage line of discontinued breakfast cereals?  That would not only revivify the Smurf-Berry Crunch so many of us miss dearly, but perhaps provide a jolt to Post's bottom line, and what company doesn't need that in these financial times?

Whatever you decide, I assure that I am just one of many, many Smurf-Berry Crunch lovers who dream of the day when we will stroll down our grocer's cereal aisle and discover boxes of Smurf-Berry Crunch on the lower shelves.  A simple internet search proves this point quite easily.   There are plenty of adults yearning to access the magnificent mornings of childhoods past with a bowl--or several-- of good ol' Smurf-Berry Crunch.  Now is as good a time as any to dust off that recipe for Smurf-Berry Crunch and put it back to work.  It was, quite frankly, the greatest cereal ever.  It's time for Smurf-Berry Crunch to come out of retirement.  If it doesn't, Gargamel wins, and we don't want that to happen, do we?
I look forward to hearing good news from you soon.

Summer M.
Who's with me?

Should I also start an online petition?


z.bediako said...

have you ever seen the episodes of everybody hates chris: everybody hates the new kid


THIS is how we used to be over name brand cereal. Every once in a while my mom would get the variety packs and we would fight over the flavors. I haven't ever heard of smurf cereals. my mom wouldnt have bough them anyway.

summer of sam said...

i really slept on ehc, but i think i saw that episode a while back. pops was 5-0 none of us fought each other while he was around. he was mad scary.

you missed out on s-b c. it was bomb.

elle said...

i don't know if i've ever seen anything cuter than that smurfday party picture.

and fyi, cookie crisp RULES!

Anonymous said...

As part of Cheap Guild Wars 2 Goldthis effort, I'd like to start an emailing campaign. We should all, and by all I mean the 4 people reading this, contact Post and Diablo 3 Gold ask them to start making Smurf-Berry

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