Slow news week for me, indeed. I have nothing to say about Obama's Nobel that I haven't already. Right now, I care more about the fact that I need Alex Smith to score some points tonight or Gargamel's Revenge is out of the fantasy football playoffs. I also don't really care about Tiger Woods. But between my grandma and uncle, I've watched so many episodes of Access Hollywood-esque shows, and read so many New York Post and internet articles aloud that I couldn't help but start a mental list of observations/thoughts/randomness. Call it a running diary. Either way, it's all I have:
-- I wonder if people are so upset about Tiger Woods that they'd actually stop buying Frosted Flakes. I imagine that those of us angry about Woods' infidelities would actually justify boycotting a product he's not affiliated with. Tell you one thing, those transgressions bring new meaning to the jingle. (Show 'em you're a Tiger/Show 'em what you can do...) Tony the Tiger should totally sue.
-- If I post these observations about Tiger Woods on the black youth blog will someone notice how mildly ironic that is?
-- Can we just say once and for all that outside of lying about infidelity, (compulsory) monogamy is, like, the worst thing ever? Can the NAACP bury that?
-- At this point, Tiger Woods has had more extra-marital affairs than there are days of Christmas. Happy holidays! That's all I have to say about that. There will be no maids a milking jokes here. Move along.
-- Speaking of holiday fun, by the time I left the hospital, I could name more mistresses than I could reindeer.
-- I'm totally not surprised that I've yet to hear anything about domestic violence in all of this. That golf club was not used to save Tiger Woods--not initially at least. I'm just sayin'.
-- Random headlines The Onion might consider:
- Black Woman Claims to be 1_th Tiger Mistress; No One Believes Her
- EEOC Sues Tiger Woods After Identity of Mistresses Reveal Affirmative Action Violations
- After Woods Debacle, Asians No Longer Want to be Suffix of 'Cablinasian'
- Since Woods' Crash, Black Male Participation in Golf Skyrockets
- Elin Woods Set to Star in Upcoming Tyler Perry Movie
In other words, folks, I've had a rough week, but I'm glad to say that my sick family member is doing much better. Luckily, I have no endorsements to lose. I'll do better next week. Go '9ers.
(And yes, the title of this post was inspired by Little Dragon.)