01 July 2010

Instant Vintage: Gates Sued Over World Cup Disappointment

It looks to be yet another cruel summer for Harvard professor, Henry Louis Gates, Jr.  Last summer, Gates was arrested for walking into his own home in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  Now, Gates is being sued by Chaka Rafiq Kmt Imhotep Shakur Muhammad (nee Tyrone Edwards).


Last January, Tyrone Edwards Muhammad ordered both maternal and paternal DNA tests from Gates' African DNA, a website that specializes in helping people trace their lineage, via t
heir DNA, to its place origin.  This service is ostensibly especially helpful to African Americans, who often have difficulty tracking their family trees beyond their ancestors' arrival on American shores as enslaved persons.  Although Tyrone Edwards Muhammad had always been interested in his African beginnings, he did not pursue uncovering the mystery until earlier this year, when he won tickets in the World Cup lottery.  "I wanted to be able to go to South Africa and cheer for my country, my real country," Tyrone Edwards Muhammad said in a phone interview.  "With these results, I'm unable to do that.  I'm disappointed in Brother Gates.  Real disappointed."
For a man looking for his country of origin, only the DNA results revealed on Maury could be considered more of a let down.  African DNA traced Tyrone Edwards Muhammad's paternal line to Valdosta, GA and his maternal line to Baltimore, MD.  Although the company did conjecture that Tyrone Edwards Muhammad is approximately 56% sub-Saharan African, 15.6176790% European, 12.7% Asian, and ~15.7% Other, it offered no specific Eden for Muhammad.  "I guessed that I was Cameroonian.  So I went out and bought all this stuff for my trip. The results did not confirm my suspicions.  Now, I'm stuck in South Africa with no team to cheer for."  Consequently, Tyrone Edwards Muhammad has decided to sue African DNA for approximately $40 million dollars.  The suit lists the cost of the tests, his airfare, hotel bills, Cameroon Indomitable Lions paraphernalia, as well as emotional distress. 

Tyrone Edwards Muhammad said he had no desire to cheer for the United States.  Although Tyrone Edwards Muhammad and his entire extended family have lived in Detroit, MI for several generations, he finds no solace in the stars and stripes.  "How can an African man such as myself cheer for a white supremacist imperialist country?  Besides, being pro-U.S. is very dangerous outside of its borders.  Everybody hates us.  I mean them," Tyrone Edwards Muhammad said, slightly irritated at the suggestion that he simply back the only country where he--and all the family he knows--was born.

Despite his American birth certificate and passport, Tyrone Edwards Muhammad thinks his lawsuit is justified, and plans to prepare for his case once he returns from Johannesburg where, despite his disappointment, he still managed to enjoy himself.  The Nation of Islam and the Hebrew Israelites were also named in the suit.  "They don't even have their own nation, let alone their own soccer team," Muhammad said of the last two litigants.  Gates, et. al. could not be reached for comment.

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