i don't know if you saw any of day one of the democratic national convention last night. i did. i've posted some of my reactions below:
i have nothing bad to say about ted kennedy.
michelle obama is freshly relaxed. yep, yep. frankie said it, and she followed suit. bouncing and behavin'. go, (south side) girl! hawaiian silky, beyotch!! (has she been on the cover of sophisticate's black hair yet? i'm sure she has. hell, ebony is acting like the obamas are the only black family in the country.)
no microphone near joe biden. good call. just show us those pearly whites, and the white hair that rivals anderson cooper's. takethattakethattakethat, andy.
will i live to see the day when the most non-threatening black people on the planet no longer have to be all subtly obsequious, subliminally telling white folks that they aren't black nationalists? i mean, fuck, her relaxer is FRESH! she is not sweating that shit out by rocking black leather and a beret in august! damn...
and while i'm at it, will cindy mccain have to make a similar speech? probably not. actually, not at all.
"...like hillary clinton..." nice gesture. you shoulda big upped shirley chisholm. though, it might've been disorienting for white people, i imagine. right now, i'm pretty sure you, beyonce, condoleezza rice, and oprah are the only black women that white people think exist. yeah, y'all and shawanda down in human resources. what can i say? all the black people are men, all the women are white... (what is, but some of us are brave?)
i really wish barack had joined us via satellite from a black home. i know there are some nigs in kansas city, mo. i've met a few. can you imagine it? barack drinkin' a forty, playing bones, eating barbecue, peeping his shorty spit game to the delegates. why ain't eddie griffin at the crib?
what's this? michelle obama got ass! duly noted.
sasha and malia? straight press and curl.
kids with microphones are as cute as kids on answering machines: not at all. kids only get a laugh from me when they cuss. a nineteen-month old saying, "this is some bullshit," gets me every time. way better than fart jokes.
i think donna brazile is attractive. and a dagger. you think she hooked michelle up with her stylist? donna's shit is always shining! both should get pantene sponsorships after tonight.
4 days ago