05 February 2010

Instant Vintage: Beyonce Brings Sassiness to Nuptials

It looks as if Sasha's empire is about to get even fiercer. In an unprecedented celebrity branding move, Beyonce Knowles will be unveiling a new twist on an old favorite. Recharged by her infectious and socially conscious lyrics, Knowles has set her empty sights towards ameliorating a serious blight in the African-American community: lack of marital commitment.

On February 8, just in time for Valentine’s Day, Knowles is set to unleash her latest branding endeavor onto the world: a line of engagement and wedding rings. The ring line, not subtly though cleverly called, "Put A Ring On It by Beyonce Knowles," was inspired by Knowles' smash hit, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)." The legendary jeweler, Tiffany and Co. will carry the line; a less expensive version of the rings will be available at Kay Jewelers, under the similar, but more urban appellation "Put a Rang on It by Bey."

The idea actually came to Knowles during a ring fitting for her faux everyday version of the 20-carat ring given to her by now husband and rap star, Jay-Z. "I was sitting there with my girls [sister and divorcee, Solange Knowles, and former Destiny's Child members, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams], and they were all complimenting me on the ring design, which I did myself," Knowles said during a phone interview. "Then Kelly mentioned something about a ring line, and I thought it was just an amazing idea," Knowles explained. "I'm so glad I thought of it."

Buyers will have several ring designs to choose from. Tiffany and Co. will offer the Beyonce, an emerald cut four-carat diamond surrounded by 25 yellow diamonds (the number signifying Knowles' alleged age) forming a crown around the larger stone, set atop a platinum band. The other choice is the Solange, a smaller, less gaudy-looking bauble of a princess diamond with bands available in yellow or white gold and silver. Kay Jewelers will make the Kelly, Michelle, and them other 2, respectively, available to its customers.

Though the line has not officially launched, there is considerable excitement and interest surrounding the new product. In fact, Bey's marketing prowess is such a tour de force that Mary Jay Williams, founder and CEO of the Ball & Chain Society, an organization that specializes in getting prisoners to marry their respective partners in facility sanctuaries, said that the Kay Jeweler's line will be the official rings used in all future ceremonies.

"People think that prisoners should be using their money on things other than wedding rings, perhaps on things like a new suit for job interviews or lawyers fees. We disagree. And now Beyonce has made our work so much easier with this line. You can't put a price on the happiness of being in a relationship that is recognized in the eyes of the Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. And with the new payment plan option, you don't have to!" Williams exclaimed.

Monica Chanel Jefferson, of Indianapolis, IN, is already a satisfied customer. Jefferson's boyfriend of four years surprised her with an advance copy of the Solange when he proposed to her during a First Friday's club event earlier this month. "I'll never forget it," Jefferson, an accountant, recounts excitedly. "We had gone to dinner with friends at P.F. Chang's earlier that evening. Then, during the [First Friday's presents:] John Legend show, [fiance Alexander Deshawn Whitmore] pulled me on stage and asked me to marry him. Then John Legend played 'No Other Love.' That's our song." Jefferson spoke enthusiastically about her engagement ring, and says she'd love to have a wedding ring from Knowles' line. "I cannot wait to be Monica Chanel Jefferson-Whitmore," she added. The young couple met at an Urban League young professionals networking event. They plan to wed in June at the groom's parents' suburban Atlanta, GA home.

Knowles' people hope that Williams' and Jefferson's positive reaction to the line aren't unique. They've put a considerable amount of capital into the line, including a star-studded product launch event to be held at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, NV on February 12 where the likes of Samuel Jackson, Denzel Washington, and Kobe Bryant will make appearances. Though invited, neither Diddy nor Lil Wayne, two of hip hop's most notorious baby daddies, are expected to attend. The soiree will feature hand models, a performance by Knowles, and a special broom jumping section where the Reverend Jesse Jackson will marry interested couples. Willing participants will receive 30% off of any bling from the "Put a Ring on It Line." "I don't want to be just another diva," Knowles said. "I want to be a way of life." Indeed, Beyonce. Indeed.  After all, weaves and hour glass figures are fleeting, but diamonds are forever.

*This post was co-authored by Summer of Sam and Moya B. Moya B. wrote all the funny parts.

The yoga cats call this move the downward facing diva


Anonymous said...

lmbao... well-played, ladies. a brilliant response to her "surprising" record-breaking six-grammy streak.

summer of sam said...

thanks, saf.

Anonymous said...

Over a facetBuy RS Gold be aware, it wipes out us the way terribly a few bright men and women want to say the particular n-word as well as "be allowed" to say it. Most of them using apparently no capability to see that strange length will not trump GW2 Goldgenerations associated with loathe as well as oppression.

Anonymous said...

Over a facetBuy RS Gold be aware, it wipes out us the way terribly a few bright men and women want to say the particular n-word as well as "be allowed" to say it. Most of them using apparently no capability to see that strange length will not trump GW2 Goldgenerations associated with loathe as well as oppression.

Rs Gold said...

Beyonce is aso sexy lady. i love her.She is a legend in the black singer.

Rs gold |Rs 3 Gold |Buy Rs Gold

Wei Liu said...

Howdy! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the greatLumia 820 cases information you may have here on

Designer Labels

$40 million slaves (3) 2010 (1) 4-letter words (1) 80s (1) 8th grade (1) 90s (4) a different world (1) africa (1) aladdin (1) american values (4) amy winehouse (1) anderson cooper (1) anniversary (3) antoine dodson (1) apple (1) arizona (1) athletes (1) awkward black girl (1) barack obama (13) barbara walters (1) basketball (6) beer (1) bet (1) BET Awards (2) beyonce (4) bill clinton (1) bill duke (1) bill withers (1) birthdays (1) black beauty (1) black girls (4) black kids (4) black like me (1) black love is dead (2) black masculinity (1) black people (13) black respectability (1) black thought (1) black women (7) blacks (1) blame it on the alcohol (1) blaphemy (1) blind side (1) blizzard (1) blogging (1) bob marley (1) Bobby Brown (1) books (4) brandy (1) bryan safi (1) bryant gumbel (1) burger kind (1) cam'ron (1) capitalism (2) census 2010 (1) cereal (1) chappelle's show (1) charles barkley (1) chaz bono (1) chicago (3) chick-fil-a (2) chris broussard (1) chris brown (1) christmas (3) cinema (2) class (1) college (1) college basketball (1) coming out (1) commencement (2) commercials (2) common (3) current tv (1) d'angelo (2) dad (1) daddy (1) dark girls (1) dave chappelle (1) david stern (1) dead prez (1) death penalty (2) dee rees (1) democracy (1) dibs (1) diddy (1) dilla (1) dirty laundry (1) disaster (1) disney (1) dissertation (4) diva (1) don't ask don't tell (1) donell jones (1) drew brees (1) dwele (2) ebony (1) eddie long (1) education (1) election (1) enwhitlement (1) erica jong (1) erykah badu (3) esperanza spaulding (1) espn (2) et. al. (1) etc. (1) facebook (1) faggot (1) family (1) family stand (1) fantasy football (1) federal holidays (1) feminism (1) film (2) football (7) for colored girls (1) forgiveness (2) fox news (1) free agency 2010 (1) freedom (2) gabby sidibe (3) game (1) gang starr (1) gay hip hop (1) gender (1) geraldo rivera (1) ghetto heaven (1) gifts (1) god (1) going green (2) golf (1) grace jones (1) graduate school (1) graduation (2) grandma (1) grant hill (2) grocery shopping (1) guns (1) guru (1) haiti (4) hall of fame (1) halloween (1) harlem (1) harper lee (1) harry reid (1) hateration (1) henry louis gates (1) high school (1) hip hop (3) holding history (1) hood pass (1) hoodies (1) huck finn (2) hurricane katrina (1) immigration (3) instant vintage (2) internet (1) introductions (1) ipad (1) ipod (1) isiah thomas (1) jail (2) jalen rose (2) janelle monae (1) janet jackson (1) jazmine sullivan (1) jennifer hudson (1) john howard griffin (1) john mayer (1) jokes (2) just jokes (1) kanye west (2) kelly dodson (1) kfc (1) kia (1) kim wayans (1) kinky reggae (1) kitty kelley (1) kobe (1) kobe bryant (1) kreayshawn (1) krs-one (1) kwanzaa (1) lamya (1) language (1) late night with jimmy fallon (1) latin america (1) laurence fishburne (1) lauryn hill (6) lebron james (6) lena horne (1) lenny kravitz (1) lesbians of color (1) levar burton (1) lgbt (1) life after death (2) lists (1) little dragon (1) live blogging (1) logan square (1) long live the message (1) lupe fiasco (1) macon d. (1) magic johnson (1) maia campbell (1) making the band (1) man men (1) march madness (1) mariah carey (1) mark twain (1) marriage (1) martin lawrence (1) martin luther the king (3) mary j. blige (1) masculinity (1) mayor (1) me (1) mexicans (1) michael jackson (9) michael jordan (1) michael vick (1) michelle obama (1) Mike Tyson (1) military (1) MLK Day (1) mo'nique (1) mom (1) monday (1) money (3) montana fishburne (1) morality (1) movies (7) muhsinah (1) multiracial (1) muppets (1) music (19) my block (1) my former life (4) my personal issues (14) mystic brew (1) n (1) nannie (5) national coming out day (1) nba (2) negroes (7) new orleans (1) nfl (1) nigger (1) nihilism (2) nike (1) nina simone (1) nobel peace prize (1) not voting (1) occupy wall street (2) octavia spencer (1) oprah winfrey (4) osama bin laden (2) oscar (2) oscar grant (1) painting (1) pariah (1) pat robertson (2) paul beatty (1) paul laurence dunbar (1) paula patton (1) peyton manning (1) phaedra parks (2) phd (1) pictures (1) playboy (1) plays (1) poetry (2) police (2) politics (10) polkadotted stripes (5) pop life (56) porn (1) post cereal (1) post-race (18) post-soul (1) postmodernism (1) precious (5) prop 8 (1) push (1) qpoc (1) queen latifah (4) queer as folk (6) quoteable (1) racialicious (1) racism (14) randomness (1) reading is fundamental (2) repeal (1) resolutions (1) retirement (1) rhoa (1) richard daley (1) Rick James (1) rick perry (1) rihanna (1) robots (1) robyn crawford (1) rolling in the whip (1) rumors (6) run on (1) running (1) sade (1) sammy sosa (1) samples (1) sandra bullock (3) sapphire (1) school (1) sesame street (1) sexuality (9) Shingai Shoniwa (1) shows (1) slang (1) slavery (2) slum village (1) slurs (1) snoop dogg (1) sotomayor (1) soulja boy (1) sports (8) starbucks (1) stuff white people do (1) super bowl (2) survival (1) Teena Marie (1) tell him (1) terence trent d'arby (1) the 70s (1) the 80s (2) the banal. (1) the blind side (1) the civil rights movement (1) the clipse (1) the color purple (1) the cosby show (1) the dougie (1) the everyday (1) the fab five (3) the foreign exchange (1) the golden girls (1) the gregory brothers (1) the help (2) the hunger games (2) the lion king (1) the lovers and friends show (1) the new year (1) the NOISEttes (1) the nutcracker (1) the princess and the frog (1) the puppets (1) the roots (1) the smurfs (1) the view (1) the white boy shuffle (1) this is it (1) tiger woods (4) to kill a mockingbird (1) toure (1) toussaint l'ouverture (1) trader joe's (2) trayvon martin (2) trouble the water (1) troy davis (1) tv (1) twelve (1) twitter (1) tyler perry (5) usc (1) valentine's day (1) viola davis (1) voodoo (1) voting (1) Wayne Brady (1) web series (1) white house correspondents dinner (1) white house press corps (1) white men (1) white people (1) white saviors (1) white women (1) white women rappers (1) whitney houston (4) whoopi goldberg (1) will.i.am (1) william rhoden (1) william wordsworth (1) willow smith (2) wishing well (1) women (1) world cup (1) writing (1) wyclef (1) zo (1)