24 January 2011

The Sweetest Thing

I cannot quit Lauryn Hill.

Several days ago, if you had asked me what I might entitle my post-Hill Chicago show blog, I would have said something like "Ex-Factor," "Lost One," or "Losing Lauryn."  Instead, I sit here, after witnessing my first Lauryn Hill show in years, having named this entry after my favorite Lauryn Hill song. 


Like many of you, I saw clips of Hill lecturing a Brooklyn crowd for their lack of Job-like patience, after they had waited hours for her to appear on stage.  Even Prince, rumor has it, left a show before the first notes of Hill's set began.So I was ready.  Ready to proclaim the end of my Hill fandom.  Ready to abandon a fierce loyalty for Hill that began the moment I saw the Fugees' "Nappy Heads" video.  Ready to forget how geeked my sister and I were when we both recognized that "the chick from the Fugees" was one Rita Watson in Sister Act 2.  I had previously defended the three chords that make up the musical arrangement for Hill's unplugged album.  But I wasn't sure if I could rationalize Hill's latest pre-show antics.  Sure, I could wait an hour or two--I had already been waiting several years--for Hill to bless me with her presence.  But four hours accompanied with a lecture about how much she had sacrificed for me, anonymous member in a crowd of her fans, punctuated with maternal-toned "you understands?" That was the stop where I got off.  Yes, I had fortified myself with pessimism.

But she showed up.  And, for a superstar, started her show on time.  Slated to begin at 11:30, Hill was on stage by 11:55--a remarkably amazing feat, given recent history.  Ms. Hill reintroduced herself to the Chicago crowd with an impressive rendition of Bob Marley's "Forever Loving Jah," immediately filling me with the hope that my pessimistic approach to the night was a needless defense mechanism.  Hill followed her Marley cover with a string of Fugees' and solo hits: "Lost Ones" (at 4000 BPM); "When it Hurts So Bad/I Used to Love Him"; a semi-decent version of "Ex-Factor" made something a smidgen above tolerable by the participation--and hope--of the crowd and by the fact that it's practically everyone's Ms. Lauryn Hill jam; "Final Hour"; "How Many Mics"; "I Only Have Eyes for You/Zealots"; "Fu-Gee-La"; "Ready or Not"; "Killing Me Softly"; a version of "Turn Your Lights Down Low" that reminded me of why it's one of my favorite love songs ever; and finally "Doo Wop (That Thing)."

Granted, the arrangements for these Fugees and Hill classics were slightly strange--and may foreshadow where Hill intends to explore sonically in the future--but not nearly as bizarre as Youtube clips suggested.  Yes, the jacket and the electric blue eye shadow were questionable, but the shoes--Hill has always worn notoriously fierce shoes on stage--from where I could see, were impeccable.   Hill has lost some of the vocal clarity and strength that attracted legions of fans, and her flow is not as seemlessly sick as it used to be, but unlike Hill's fellow New Jerseyite Whitney Houston, I was not left with the impression that what she has lost is irretrievable.  Moreover, there were glimmers of vintage L-Boogie throughout the night: her good mood, her direct interactions with the crowd, the sporadic and brief paroxysms of trademark L-Boogie dance moves.  And instead of humming "The Way We Were" on my way to the car, I waxed enthusiastic about how Ms. Hill gave me enough to still believe--that she's almost back, that she wants to record and perform again.

I understand.  Some, many of y'all just don't get it.  Just cannot comprehend those of us who ride hard for Ms. Hill through damn near anything--and on the strength of one album.  I won't bother to convince you.  Is Lauryn Hill the greatest rapper?  No.  The greatest singer?  No. But I do know that the combination, the coalescence of the twomore than likely makes her more formidable and impressive than just about any artist on the tip of your tongue.
In so many ways, I wanted to be like Lauryn Hill.   I wanted that thing, her je ne sais quoi.  I wanted to go to Columbia.  I wanted a "head full of problems and a hand full of nappy roots." Lauryn Hill didn't hang with the boys, she was so much doper than the boys--and that they had to respect.  I wanted a flow, the ultimate intelligent vocab like hers.  I wanted to be able to articulate my story in a way that would make others feel that it was theirs.  I wanted to know I had the strength to leave it all behind should the stakes get too high.  I wanted to be okay with the flaws that comprised my humanity.  I wanted to know that my survival is always more important than how pleasurable forsaking who I really am may have been to others.  I wanted to merge all those iterations of blackness--the rap, the soul, the reggae, the consciousness--into my own art.  I wanted to be brown and beautiful.

Seeing Ms. Hill was a reminder.  A reminder of all the things she represented to my young self.  A reminder of what hip-hop, black music used to be.  A reminder of a most beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful moment that was the (black) 90s.  A reminder of the cohort of soul singers who have been elusive of late probably, partially because of our harsh demands of them.  Indeed, despite its cache as a 90's hip hop mantra, to represent ain't all it's cracked up to be.  The Ms. Hill today reminds me of that.   Nonetheless, I am glad to have seen her, and to know that through it all she survives.  And that, though complicated and flawed, she remains brown and ever beautiful.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm sure. Some, most of y'all simply do not getBuy D3 Items the idea. Just are not able to understand folks which ride tricky pertaining to Microsof company. Hillside through rattling around anything--and for the power of one record. I will not likely hassle for you to encourage a person. Is Lauryn Mountain the maximum rap artist? No. The ideal vocalist? Virtually no. But I can say for sure how the mixture, the coalescence on the twomore compared to likely creates your ex more powerful in addition to extraordinary than only concerning virtually any Cheap Runescape Golddesigner around the word of advice of your respective tongue.

Designer Labels

$40 million slaves (3) 2010 (1) 4-letter words (1) 80s (1) 8th grade (1) 90s (4) a different world (1) africa (1) aladdin (1) american values (4) amy winehouse (1) anderson cooper (1) anniversary (3) antoine dodson (1) apple (1) arizona (1) athletes (1) awkward black girl (1) barack obama (13) barbara walters (1) basketball (6) beer (1) bet (1) BET Awards (2) beyonce (4) bill clinton (1) bill duke (1) bill withers (1) birthdays (1) black beauty (1) black girls (4) black kids (4) black like me (1) black love is dead (2) black masculinity (1) black people (13) black respectability (1) black thought (1) black women (7) blacks (1) blame it on the alcohol (1) blaphemy (1) blind side (1) blizzard (1) blogging (1) bob marley (1) Bobby Brown (1) books (4) brandy (1) bryan safi (1) bryant gumbel (1) burger kind (1) cam'ron (1) capitalism (2) census 2010 (1) cereal (1) chappelle's show (1) charles barkley (1) chaz bono (1) chicago (3) chick-fil-a (2) chris broussard (1) chris brown (1) christmas (3) cinema (2) class (1) college (1) college basketball (1) coming out (1) commencement (2) commercials (2) common (3) current tv (1) d'angelo (2) dad (1) daddy (1) dark girls (1) dave chappelle (1) david stern (1) dead prez (1) death penalty (2) dee rees (1) democracy (1) dibs (1) diddy (1) dilla (1) dirty laundry (1) disaster (1) disney (1) dissertation (4) diva (1) don't ask don't tell (1) donell jones (1) drew brees (1) dwele (2) ebony (1) eddie long (1) education (1) election (1) enwhitlement (1) erica jong (1) erykah badu (3) esperanza spaulding (1) espn (2) et. al. (1) etc. (1) facebook (1) faggot (1) family (1) family stand (1) fantasy football (1) federal holidays (1) feminism (1) film (2) football (7) for colored girls (1) forgiveness (2) fox news (1) free agency 2010 (1) freedom (2) gabby sidibe (3) game (1) gang starr (1) gay hip hop (1) gender (1) geraldo rivera (1) ghetto heaven (1) gifts (1) god (1) going green (2) golf (1) grace jones (1) graduate school (1) graduation (2) grandma (1) grant hill (2) grocery shopping (1) guns (1) guru (1) haiti (4) hall of fame (1) halloween (1) harlem (1) harper lee (1) harry reid (1) hateration (1) henry louis gates (1) high school (1) hip hop (3) holding history (1) hood pass (1) hoodies (1) huck finn (2) hurricane katrina (1) immigration (3) instant vintage (2) internet (1) introductions (1) ipad (1) ipod (1) isiah thomas (1) jail (2) jalen rose (2) janelle monae (1) janet jackson (1) jazmine sullivan (1) jennifer hudson (1) john howard griffin (1) john mayer (1) jokes (2) just jokes (1) kanye west (2) kelly dodson (1) kfc (1) kia (1) kim wayans (1) kinky reggae (1) kitty kelley (1) kobe (1) kobe bryant (1) kreayshawn (1) krs-one (1) kwanzaa (1) lamya (1) language (1) late night with jimmy fallon (1) latin america (1) laurence fishburne (1) lauryn hill (6) lebron james (6) lena horne (1) lenny kravitz (1) lesbians of color (1) levar burton (1) lgbt (1) life after death (2) lists (1) little dragon (1) live blogging (1) logan square (1) long live the message (1) lupe fiasco (1) macon d. (1) magic johnson (1) maia campbell (1) making the band (1) man men (1) march madness (1) mariah carey (1) mark twain (1) marriage (1) martin lawrence (1) martin luther the king (3) mary j. blige (1) masculinity (1) mayor (1) me (1) mexicans (1) michael jackson (9) michael jordan (1) michael vick (1) michelle obama (1) Mike Tyson (1) military (1) MLK Day (1) mo'nique (1) mom (1) monday (1) money (3) montana fishburne (1) morality (1) movies (7) muhsinah (1) multiracial (1) muppets (1) music (19) my block (1) my former life (4) my personal issues (14) mystic brew (1) n (1) nannie (5) national coming out day (1) nba (2) negroes (7) new orleans (1) nfl (1) nigger (1) nihilism (2) nike (1) nina simone (1) nobel peace prize (1) not voting (1) occupy wall street (2) octavia spencer (1) oprah winfrey (4) osama bin laden (2) oscar (2) oscar grant (1) painting (1) pariah (1) pat robertson (2) paul beatty (1) paul laurence dunbar (1) paula patton (1) peyton manning (1) phaedra parks (2) phd (1) pictures (1) playboy (1) plays (1) poetry (2) police (2) politics (10) polkadotted stripes (5) pop life (56) porn (1) post cereal (1) post-race (18) post-soul (1) postmodernism (1) precious (5) prop 8 (1) push (1) qpoc (1) queen latifah (4) queer as folk (6) quoteable (1) racialicious (1) racism (14) randomness (1) reading is fundamental (2) repeal (1) resolutions (1) retirement (1) rhoa (1) richard daley (1) Rick James (1) rick perry (1) rihanna (1) robots (1) robyn crawford (1) rolling in the whip (1) rumors (6) run on (1) running (1) sade (1) sammy sosa (1) samples (1) sandra bullock (3) sapphire (1) school (1) sesame street (1) sexuality (9) Shingai Shoniwa (1) shows (1) slang (1) slavery (2) slum village (1) slurs (1) snoop dogg (1) sotomayor (1) soulja boy (1) sports (8) starbucks (1) stuff white people do (1) super bowl (2) survival (1) Teena Marie (1) tell him (1) terence trent d'arby (1) the 70s (1) the 80s (2) the banal. (1) the blind side (1) the civil rights movement (1) the clipse (1) the color purple (1) the cosby show (1) the dougie (1) the everyday (1) the fab five (3) the foreign exchange (1) the golden girls (1) the gregory brothers (1) the help (2) the hunger games (2) the lion king (1) the lovers and friends show (1) the new year (1) the NOISEttes (1) the nutcracker (1) the princess and the frog (1) the puppets (1) the roots (1) the smurfs (1) the view (1) the white boy shuffle (1) this is it (1) tiger woods (4) to kill a mockingbird (1) toure (1) toussaint l'ouverture (1) trader joe's (2) trayvon martin (2) trouble the water (1) troy davis (1) tv (1) twelve (1) twitter (1) tyler perry (5) usc (1) valentine's day (1) viola davis (1) voodoo (1) voting (1) Wayne Brady (1) web series (1) white house correspondents dinner (1) white house press corps (1) white men (1) white people (1) white saviors (1) white women (1) white women rappers (1) whitney houston (4) whoopi goldberg (1) will.i.am (1) william rhoden (1) william wordsworth (1) willow smith (2) wishing well (1) women (1) world cup (1) writing (1) wyclef (1) zo (1)